I Am the Judy Greer: Tales of a Perpetually Single Friend


Truth be told I watch what some may see as an unhealthy amount of romantic comedies. When I’m watching these rom-coms I always think of who I find relatable and it’s never the main character I typically relate to the friend…the sassy friend who dishes realness to the protagonist, the one who no one in the audience really cares whether or not this friend finds love/happiness/success. The friend who in cases where she does find love it’s usually with the goofy best friend of the male protagonist (because her life is so centered around her friend that she dare not venture to find someone else) Maybe I am the sassy friend in real life…maybe I am the Judy Greer. For those of you who may not be familiar with Judy Greer’s body of work she frequently gets cast in the role of best friend. If you don’t believe me watch Funny or Dies “Judy Greer Is The Best Friend” and nothing could be closer to the reality that is my life.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining but being the “friend” means a few things are bound to happen: No one ever asks about my love life, because they already know I do not have one. Everyone asks me for advice but never stops to wonder why they’re asking me in the first place seeing that I have not found love for myself and am unqualified to be giving anyone advice. In group settings where both the friend and her interest is in the same vicinity I am expected only to speak when absolutely necessary or helpful to their pursuit of love. I have compromised my morals and sacrificed my dignity in the aid of friends on a quest for love/relationship. I am here to assist not only the chase but also when everything falls apart I am available to help friends “feel better” and find a new goal to set their sights on until the next man comes around to distract them from it. Make them look better by making myself look worse. Willing myself to hang out with the friends of the guy they’re interested in. Subjecting myself to be half heartedly set up with those same friends while having a good attitude because I dare not offend. Getting drunk because I’m bored but there because my friend didn’t want to be alone and inevitably embarrassing myself and the family name.  

After a while it just becomes second nature to be this way. It doesn’t bother me at all…I just do it. I honestly will think that this person would be great for so and so… that’s my mentality whenever I meet men. Not sure if there’s something wrong with me or if this is normal is it relatable I don’t know. I’m happy that other people are happy. I’m also happy with my own life and accomplishments. When is the last time I went on a date don’t ask me I don’t know but I can tell you my friends major relationship milestones.


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